Private Thoughts

Written to Inspire and Encourage


These are from my personal collection of original writings. Over the
years, I have written from my heart on various topics, primarily having
to do with Love, relationships...matters of the heart and Spirit.  I have been encouraged by others to share what I have written.

Therefore, I decided, what better place to do that then with
you, my reader. I do not write for your approval or disapproval, only
to share my thoughts with you.  I hope that there will be something
within my words that will inspire you and encourage you to love
yourself and to live the life you truly deserve. You are so worth it!

Please note: You may copy and share my writings, as long as you do
not change any of the wording, and that you keep the author's resource
box in tact. I appreciate your respect and courtesy.


Being In Love

Written by Victoria Leal

Being in love is such a wonderful feeling. It makes your whole body come alive. Your emotions are elevated to new heights. You think about things that you never thought were possible. You fantasize about things you have never done before. And the most important part of all of your dreams and fantasies is that you are not alone. For you are there my love, every step of the way, guiding my path with the light of your love. How do you know if it is really love, especially so soon? 

Our Father loves us all immediately, if we are made in his image, why then do we think that we cannot do the same. For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son. To imagine that we do not possess the same love for one another that our Father possesses for us all, is difficult for me to comprehend. When we first meet, it is not you and I meeting, as we are, it is the meeting of our spirits and we fall in love with the true self immediately. Then the mind steps in and says, you can't possibly love this person, for you don't even know them. You have only just met, and you haven't even met in person! You don't know enough about them to make that kind of decision. But in your heart and your spirit, you know that your mind is inexperienced in matters of love. Your mind remembers pain and hurt but your soul remembers love.

There are only two reasons why we ever do anything, and they are LOVE or FEAR. Your mind is skeptical, but your heart is pure, it is the believer of all that is good. I choose to allow the feelings of love to flow through me to you. But how can I say that when I have also allowed my mind to get in the way. My mind tells me that you will get hurt. My mind tells me that he doesn't love you. My mind tells me that you mean nothing to him. My mind tells me that you will be replaced just as quickly as you came. My mind tells me that I am in this alone. And so I end it before it begins.

To know true love from one human being to another is such a wonderful feeling, if only it could remain as pure as it was intended. By being humans, sometimes we fall short of loving unconditionally, as our Father loves us. I struggle with myself because my heart definitely feels something for you, I love you. My mind ask the question, is it you or is it the thought of being in love? My answer to this is that right now, no one can take your place in my heart. I know that my heart is true. But the fear that has been planted by my mind says, well what if you feel this way all by yourself? He doesn't feel that way about you. Don't you feel like a fool?

Then I remember that there are only two reasons why we ever do anything, LOVE or FEAR, and I choose LOVE. In order to let the love that is within us all flourish, we will fall in love many times in this life, but to the one who loves us back, goes all of the blessings.

About the Author:
Victoria Leal is the Owner of Reality Check.bravesites.com.  To find helpful information on how to live the kind of life you deserve, please visit: http://realitycheck.bravesites.com  This article is copyright  2007 by Victoria Leal and may be reprinted in it's entirety as long as this byline and copyright statement are included.

A Life To Be Lived

Written by Victoria Leal

Imagine if you will, a God that is so magnificent, so omnipotent, so magnanimous that the only thing that it is impossible for him to do is to experience this life, as he has given to us. Therefore, his only experience of the joys and the triumphs, of the trials and the tribulations occur through us. We were created for the sole purpose of experiencing this life for God. He gave us the freedom to make decisions about the life that we choose to lead and he also gave us the understanding that with any decision, there will be consequences. However, consequences can be "good" or "bad". But in the reality of things, there is no good or bad, there is only God.

Therefore, he does not judge us by the things that we do, the things that we say, or the things that we think for our experience is his experience and in the spiritual realm, there is no judgment whatsoever. Imagine if you will, a world where we are allowed to experience the full spectrum of this life, from the miracle of birth to the apparent tragedy of death. People say that there can't be a good without a bad, but that's not quite true. The truth is that there is no good or bad, there is only God.

In man's attempt to control man, he devised a set of rules for his fellow human beings to live by and to break these rules can sometimes be punishable by death. These are not God's rules for he does not punish us; remember we are doing this for him. Some people call these rules the Bible and they live in fear everyday that if they do not follow the rules that they will be separated from God and their greatest fear is that they will forever be banished from the grace of God and will burn in an everlasting hellfire with a fellow they call Satan.

Imagine if you will, a world where everything that happens to you, happens by your own choosing. There is an agreement between you and God that you will experience certain things, but deep in your soul, you know that in the end, you will be alright. Your choice may be to be murdered in a dark alley. At first thought, you might think, "My Gosh, how terrible! How can this be of God?"  But your spirit knows that this is only an experience that you have chosen to have for God. When the body dies, your spirit goes right back to him and you choose a new life with new experiences.

It's almost like a game and the object of the game is to have many experiences so that God will truly know what it is like for us, here on this earth. Imagine if you will, that you are the power and presence of God and that nothing can ever harm you. You and God are one and therefore, you are an unlimited being, purposely limiting yourself in the body so that you can know what it is like to be limited, only to come to the realization that you really are unlimited and that in order to experience being limited, the struggles, the sacrifices, and the pains are a necessary part of the game. But when you come to re-member who you really are, you will know that you are only here for the experience, nothing more, nothing less and at this point, there is no more fear, there is only love, there is only God.

 About the Author:
Victoria Leal is the Owner of Reality Check.bravesites.com.  To find helpful information on how to live the kind of life you deserve, please visit: http://realitycheck.bravesites.com  This article is copyright  2007 by Victoria Leal and may be reprinted in it's entirety as long as this byline and copyright statement are included.

Coming Soon...Online Attractions...Featuring All Of The Beautiful Men And Women Searching For LOVE

Written by Victoria Leal

In my attempts to find the love of my life, I knew that they were not going to be found in the town where I lived, so I took to the Internet. My first experience was the result of a television commercial. They looked so darn happy, you couldn't help but wonder if this could also work for you, so I tried it. Put it this way, finding my "Mr. Right" may have ended up costing me a small fortune!

Then one day I was working on my computer and along came an annoying pop-up. Normally, I delete them as fast as they pop-up, but this one caught my eye. It was for another dating site. Once inside the site, I was amazed at all of the handsome black men and a few white ones too, who were looking for the perfect black woman. Because of how I am, my desire for monogamy, this is who I was looking for, someone who had the same desire as me.

What I quickly found out, on my first night on the site is that most men don't even bother to read your profile they just look at your picture and click! Thanks for the compliment, I think? However, when a man takes the time to read your profile, he is going a little deeper than just the physical attraction and actually learns a little about you before sending you a message.

At that time my profile was a little friendlier, more inviting. What I found was that I spent more time eliminating those who did not fit the bill until I thought I had found the one. However I have a hard time giving all of my attention and affection to someone who is not returning the favor. And because of who I am, it is not in my nature to be intimate with more than one person at a time. To me, intimacy definitely includes more than just sex. It involves allowing a person to really get to know who you are, what your likes and dislikes are, what your loves and fears are, trusting to the point of vulnerability. So because I was not getting what I needed in return for what I was giving, I said audios!

I decided to give this site another go. This time I spelled out exactly what I expected in my profile. It was probably more intimidating to some. I think that they could tell that I was very serious about what I am saying and if they are all about the game, they don't even bother to click. That's good! As I say, that way I don't have to bother cutting away the fat to get to the meat. Or as one gentleman said, "the apples at the top of the tree are more appealing but the ones on the ground are easier to get."

I am still the same person, but this time I am realizing that it's really all about the game. The object of the game is to talk with whomever you want, as many as you want, as much as you want, as intimately as you want, all at the same time, and finally, if you choose to do so, you can select the one who has won you over from all of your many admirers. However, don't forget that while you are being pursued by him, he is being pursued by others and he is also pursuing others at the same time he is pursuing you. It's like one big orgy!

For this very reason, I don't think that online dating is right for me. But let's turn that around. Online dating is what you make it. You can play by your own rules. As for me, I really don't care what the others do; I will stick to my molasses method of one person at a time. The problem is finding that one who would be willing to give up the buffet to see what the steak taste like. I'm sure that it will take me longer this way to find the one who is right for me, but after all when I do, it will have been well worth the time, for both of us!

About the Author:
Victoria Leal is the Owner of Reality Check.bravesites.com.  To find helpful information on how to live the kind of life you deserve, please visit: http://realitycheck.bravesites.com  This article is copyright  2007 by Victoria Leal and may be reprinted in it's entirety as long as this byline and copyright statement are included.

A Date With Destiny

Written by Victoria Leal

September 25, 2007, a fine day it's starting out to be. I'm sitting here in the garage contemplating cutting the yard, at least the front yard. I get into motion, go out and start to pick up the fallen sticks and branches from the hovering trees and my mind is made up. I gassed up the lawnmower and went to work. If my neighbors were looking, they may have wondered what was up with me; I'm tackling this grueling job, with a big smile on my face. I'm not wearing headphones; I'm not listening to anything, but the thoughts inside of my head.

Prior to cutting the yard, I was talking to one of my girlfriends on the phone and I told her that it looked like rain, so I was going to get off the phone and get started. Within only a few minutes, I knew that I was going to get to complete the cutting of the front yard...without a doubt. This was going to happen, no matter what. As I began cutting, it started to rain lightly and my smile grew bigger because I already knew that it would be finished. The rain was so light that you could not tell the difference between it and my sweat. It all looked the same. Then all of a sudden, the rain stopped and I just kept cutting. After a few more minutes, it began to rain again, still lightly...and I still went on cutting...never stopping. Because remember, I knew that the job would be finished, without a doubt. Not once, did I ever say, "Oh God, please let me finish before it really starts to pour down." It was not necessary. In times past, I definitely would have said that, but not today, not anymore.

As I hit the home stretch, the rain continued but it began to pick up slightly. I had two rows left to finish. At the end of the first row, the rain began to pour down and I continued to smile. On the last row, it was me and the rain, in full force. When I completed the last row, I let go of the mower handle and raised my hands in the air and said, "Thank You."

Now you may be wondering, "What's the big deal? I've been there, done that." But here's the big deal: I knew without the slightest bit of doubt that I would complete my task. I also knew that however it turned out, there was nothing that I could do to effect a change. I've never known this before. But at that moment, I knew that there was nothing I could do to stop anything from happening, that what ever was going to happen was going to happen. I also knew, in that moment, that everything that happens in this life happens exactly as it is suppose to...I knew it in my heart, in my mind, in my spirit, and in my body. In that moment, I knew that my life was perfect, whole and complete.

Now, there are those who may say that it was positive thinking or that through some universal law, I willed the completion of the job into effect, or that I visualized myself completing the job...but I'm telling you, none of that is true! I just knew at that moment that whatever was going to happen was going to happen and that there was absolutely nothing that I could do to effect a change, nor did I want to. In that precious moment, my eyes were opened, my spiritual eyes, and I realized that everything that I have been through and everything that I have yet to go through has happened and will happen, EXACTLY as it is suppose to.

And with that thought in mind, there are no more worries, no more fears, no more doubts, no more second guessing yourself; nothing but the pure joy of watching this game of life unfold and becoming excited about the tremendous possibilities that are loaded in each and every moment. It's like watching a script of your life unfold on the screen and you are watching in complete amazement. Ultimately, you already know the outcome and you already know that by the end of the movie, you will be just fine. You are completely safe and nothing can ever harm you. So, with this in mind, you just watch how the different events unfold, you note your thoughts about the events, and all the while knowing that there is absolutely nothing you can do about it, you just relax.

Know that the script has already been written, the movie has already been directed and produced and has hit the box office. Think of it this way, when you go to a movie, there is absolutely nothing you can do to change the movie. You have no choice but to sit there and watch it unfold and at the end of the movie, you leave the theater. I was talking to my oldest son this morning and he was expressing a concern about is life and as we talked more about it, I told him that whatever decision he made, it would be the perfect decision for him. He said, "What if I start to make a decision and fear sets in and I change my mind and not follow through with my first thought?" And I told him, in no uncertain terms, that all of that has already been factored into the script, if you will.

Every thought, every feeling, every emotion, and every action has already been factored in and there is nothing you can do to effect a change. Whatever you do, you can't make a mistake, you can't mess it up, you will make the perfect choice every time.

Because we think of ourselves as humans, we feel that we have to fight back, or that we have to say something, or do something about what is going on in our lives but nothing could be further from the truth. Whatever we think, do, or say has already been factored in, so quit fighting it, quit feeling guilty, quit agonizing over your decisions and when you finally realize that everything really is happening exactly as it should, different things will begin to happen for you and to you. Your higher spirit will not let you down, believe me, it will take care of everything, it will give you everything you desire and then some.  Right now your only job is to trust, totally and completely, whatever is happening to you.

Situations that have previously been difficult to deal with and that have caused you grief, no longer seem impossible to deal with. The emotions that use to flood your body are no longer there because you realize that everything is happening exactly as it is suppose to and the best part is that everything is happening, for the good of you, no matter if you can see that right now or not, trust and believe that it is. This means that whatever someone else says to you or does to you just know that they are acting exactly as their part has been written. In fact, they deserve multiple Oscars! As TCM (Turner Classic Movies) puts it, "Damn Good Actor!" And this is all anyone in your life is, an actor, playing a role, and doing a damn good job at it. In fact, you should just look at them in amazement because the real truth is that you wrote the script, hired the actors, and you couldn't have picked a better person to play that part!

About the Author:
Victoria Leal is the Owner of Reality Check.bravesites.com.  To find helpful information on how to live the kind of life you deserve, please visit: http://realitycheck.bravesites.com  This article is copyright  2007 by Victoria Leal and may be reprinted in it's entirety as long as this byline and copyright statement are included.

Can We Really Affect A Change? Yes...No...Yes...No...

Written by Victoria Leal

I don't know what I'm feeling right now, or how to feel about what I don't know about how I'm feeling right now...in other words, I don't know nothing (and yes, I meant to say "nothing" instead of "anything"). Sometimes, I feel lost as to how to actually achieve the things I want in this life. There is no uncertainty as to exactly what I want, but how to get what I want is a completely different story. Perhaps, you've felt this way also?

The major question that I have is this: Can we really affect a change in our lives or is it that whatever is happening, at any given moment, was going to happen anyway? Because something happened at the precise moment that we asked for it or needed it to happen, was it because of something we did to bring it about or was it something that was going to happen anyway, at that exact point in time?

This is the Dilemma!

Is there really anything we can do to consciously bring about a change in our lives? There are two schools of thought on this question. The first is the more popular one and according to it, the answer is "Yes", there is something you can do. One of the methods used in this school of thought is prayer, asking God to step in on your behalf and do something for yourself or for someone else. This method teaches that you, in and of yourself, have no power to change anything. This method also assumes that while you personally, do not have the power to change anything, you also have no creative powers. The credit for any changes that are made or for any creations in your life goes to God.

You are brought into this world to try and live the best life you can, based on certain teachings, and then you die with the hopes that you will be rewarded in the afterlife. In the meantime, when something occurs in your life that you consider to be "good", then you will feel blessed by God. If something that you consider to be "bad" or unwelcome occurs, then it must have been the will of God for it to happen that way. This method also absolves us of any personal responsibility for our lives. If something good happens, then it's of God. If something bad happens, then it's of the devil. But where is your responsibility in all of this? What responsibility do you have for your own personal life? For your thoughts and your actions?

Another method of the "Yes" school of thought is what some are calling "New Age". This method teaches that you are actually creating everything in your life. That you can affect a change in your circumstances, simply by changing your thoughts about something. There are a multitude of tools used in this method, but perhaps the most widely used is the Law of Attraction, as taught by Dr. Robert Anthony. The law of Attraction states that "like attracts like" and that anything and everything, including your thoughts, is made of the same vibrational energy, varying only by frequency. When your vibrational frequency matches with the frequency of whatever it is that you want or don't want, then this is what will manifest into your physical reality.

This is what "The Secret" is all about. If something "good" happens to you, then it is because you created it. It is because your thoughts about something were a vibrational match for what it was that you wanted to happen. The higher your vibrational frequency, the grander your creation is. So, utilizing this method, the lower your vibrational frequency the more you will be drawn to the things you don't want. But either way, you create whatever it is through your thoughts. This method places everything that happens to you squarely on your shoulders.

Now, I should point out that although you are solely responsible for what you have created, this method also teaches of a Higher Power or a Higher Self, but it also teaches that this Higher Power, this Spirit of the Universe, is also within you. Thereby, allowing you to have the same creative powers as the God above. But if you don't know how to access this power within, then you will never have the things you want; only more of what you don't want. You are creating all of the time, every minute of your life, but if your thoughts are not up to par, you will continue to receive exactly what you are thinking about.

By this method, the personal responsibility for what you want or don't want lies directly within you. Although, there is a universal Spirit, from which all things flow, there is no God, per se, to thank when things go right or no devil to blame when things go wrong. In actuality, the terms "good or bad," "right or wrong," "space or time," do not exist within this method, as all things are drawn from a field of infinite possibilities (the Quantum Field), the Spiritual Realm, where there is no judgment. Therefore, if you choose to create something or intend something, and it does not materialize in your physical world, then according to this method, your thoughts were solely responsible for the outcome.

The Other School of Thought

The other school of thought says "No"; there is nothing that you can do to consciously affect a change in your life or circumstances. That in fact, everything that happens to you happens according to the mission and purpose of your Spirit; your Higher Self. Did you get that? Not for your physical body's mission and purpose, but that of your Spirit. One person in particular who teaches from this school of thought is Robert Scheinfeld. According to Bob, everything happens exactly as it is suppose to. That everything you think, do, or say, has already been mapped out in your own personal holographic universe. In fact the universe, as we know it, actually consists of millions of individual universes. In other words, there is no power "out there" but all of the power resides within us, within our own individual universe.

According to this school of thought, we are all unlimited beings who decided, in Spirit, that we wanted to experience being limited; living a limited existence. Therefore, all of the things we experience as a hardship are actually necessary to make the experience of being limited seem more real. We tend to blame ourselves when things don't go the way we planned, but in actuality, with this school of thought, you can't make a mistake, you can't mess your life up, you can't think the wrong thing or do the wrong thing. In effect, the physical body that you are can't do anything of your own will. Everything that you say, think, or do is being guided by the mission and purpose of your Higher Self within you.

However things happen, you should trust that they are happening for the greater good of you, no matter what's happening, and you should be grateful for the experience. In this school of thought, there is absolutely no judgment. Therefore, there is no right or wrong way of doing things. There are no good or bad thoughts or actions. Since your physical body is simply a means to experience, there is no punishment at the end, only love. The primary force behind this way of thinking is that since we in fact, created these circumstances, meaning you, (and I'll explain "we" in a minute) that we should just enjoy the experience.

Remember, you are not actually who you think you are. You are in fact an unlimited Spiritual being who is having a human experience. You have the power and presence of the universe within you. In this school of thought, you are reactive instead of proactive and everything is based on how you feel, not what you think. Consequently, the goal in this life is to be the unlimited being that you are, having a limited experience, which you are grateful for, and gradually learn to live an unlimited existence, removing all barriers to your desires, while on this earth...not in some afterlife.

According to this school of thought, the concept of "We" that I mentioned above is a myth. It would appear on the surface that the you, that you know yourself to be, is all there is. But then there is also the you that is your Higher Self, the unlimited Spiritual being that is housed in your physical body. The premise being that the more the Spiritual you can reclaim its power from the physical you, the more your Spirit being will shine through. This would tend to make one believe that our physical self and our Spiritual self are in fact, two, thus creating the "we." When in essence, there is no separation between the two. You are solely spiritual. The physical body was created for the purpose of the experience, but it is not the real you. The more you reclaim your spiritual power, from the physical realm, the more you will begin to live an unlimited existence, as the unlimited being that you are. When this happens, your desires will become visible, in your physical, made-up reality. Thus allowing you to live an abundant life.

So, there you have it. On one hand, the answer is yes, we can affect a change in our lives and circumstances and on the other hand, everything that happens to us is out of our hands and is happening exactly as it is suppose to, according to the mission and purpose of our Spirit. Therefore, if I were to receive $10 million, is it because I harnessed to power of the Law of Attraction and drew it to me; or prayed for it and God answered my prayer, or is it that according to the mission and purpose of my spirit, I was destined to receive it? I'll never know, even after I receive it. And I honestly don't know who would know the answer to this. Of course, there would be those who would bet their life that they know the correct answer. But that's a bet that I would not take because while, I don't know the answer, I have this nagging feeling that anything is possible! Consequently, can anyone actually prove or disprove any of it?

Here we are, in effect, right back where we started, with no answers and only more questions. Some days I feel one school of thought more than the other and vice versa. This is evident by some of my other writings. There is something within both of them that resonates as true within me. But the one thing that I do know is that there is obviously a Higher Power or Greater Existence at work here. Whatever name you give it, matters not. I know that, at times, my feelings, thoughts, and desires are so strong that they can't be for nothing. I do believe that it is better (relative term) to live in love rather than out of fear. I do know that it is embedded within me to want to help others, even when I can't help myself.

What does it all mean? Why are we here? How will it all end? More questions to which I do not have the answers. However, I do believe, with all of my being, that we should strive to forgive others and ourselves; that we should do no harm to one another; and that we should love ourselves and strive to feel good about ourselves, whenever we can. These are the things that I feel most deeply about. Regardless of which school of thought you tend to follow, it would appear that by doing these things, you can't go wrong.

Thank you for taking this journey into the unknown with me. It is my hope that all of your desires come true, as well as my own.

About the Author:
Victoria Leal is the Owner of Reality Check.bravesites.com.  To find helpful information on how to live the kind of life you deserve, please visit: http://realitycheck.bravesites.com  This article is copyright  2007 by Victoria Leal and may be reprinted in it's entirety as long as this byline and copyright statement are included.

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